Hiya, we'll get to that super cool thing you were promised in a second. Just hit agree to continue.
These terms or conditions (below) form a contract among you, yourself, and Thrill Land (the “Understanding”). Please read the Understanding vicariously. By clicking "Agree" you affirm your awareness and full compliance of the Understanding.
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ALL JOKES ARE ORIGINAL CREATIONS OF THRILL LAND
RETURN TO HOME
These terms or conditions (below) form a contract among you, yourself, and Thrill Land (the “Understanding”). Please read the Understanding vicariously. By clicking "Agree" you affirm your awareness and full compliance of the Understanding.
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A. INTRODUCTION
This Understanding controls your use of Thrill Land’s things (“things”) through which you, yourself, can ascribe to stuff, whatchamacallits, doodads, gadgets, gizmos, thingamabobbers, thingamajigs, thingies (as defined above, below or not at all), or any incorporeal contraceptives (ostensibly, “stuff”). Stuff might be bartered through the use of things by Thrill Land. Our things are not available for slantindicular use in any country, planet, pompcalf or dimension (“Somewhere”). By reconnoitering a tantamount account bivouacked in vivid equanimity for cantankerous use in eschatology of the lackadaisical things, in a particular country or fief, you, yourself, are extrapolating it as your Somewhere. To use our things, you, yourself, need to possess clean, underwear (lather, rinse, repeat) or access to a rare, albino python inserted haphazardly down your trousers (bites will apply). Your performance of the undersigned might be exacerbated by anything you say or do, but nobody cares, because nobody really reads Terms of Service agreements.
This Understanding controls your use of Thrill Land’s things (“things”) through which you, yourself, can ascribe to stuff, whatchamacallits, doodads, gadgets, gizmos, thingamabobbers, thingamajigs, thingies (as defined above, below or not at all), or any incorporeal contraceptives (ostensibly, “stuff”). Stuff might be bartered through the use of things by Thrill Land. Our things are not available for slantindicular use in any country, planet, pompcalf or dimension (“Somewhere”). By reconnoitering a tantamount account bivouacked in vivid equanimity for cantankerous use in eschatology of the lackadaisical things, in a particular country or fief, you, yourself, are extrapolating it as your Somewhere. To use our things, you, yourself, need to possess clean, underwear (lather, rinse, repeat) or access to a rare, albino python inserted haphazardly down your trousers (bites will apply). Your performance of the undersigned might be exacerbated by anything you say or do, but nobody cares, because nobody really reads Terms of Service agreements.
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B. USAGE
You can come by stuff on our things for free or for a charge neither of which is referred to as a “vituperation.” Each vituperation is a symbiotic contract between Cthulhu or/and you, yourself. However, if you are an uncle to a haggard, old wampus cat, said cat is the designated, inebriated sorcerer of record for the stuff you, yourself, come by from certain things (e.g., via mystical quest, time-warp, alien encounter, etc.) as set forth on the product page or/and during the reclamation process for any relevant mind control experiments that by virtue of the Understanding you wholeheartedly agree to undergo. In such cases, you, yourself, come by the stuff from Thrill Land, which is licensed by someone else (e.g., Your Mom (as defined above). When you, yourself, make your first vituperation, we will demand that you, yourself, choose a weapon for use in glorious combat and habitually we should ask for your money (all of it) for past vituperations.
If you, yourself, enable Butt ID for vituperations, we will ask that you, yourself, authenticate all vituperations with your buttprint, or if you, yourself, enable Butt ID for vituperations, we will ask that you, yourself, authenticate all vituperations using "up-bottom" recognition. This is done for your own protection.
As an aside, you agree that anyone who would date you is out of their mind (such as your current girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, or significant other) and should be flogged accordingly and repeatedly with a barrage of pelicans.
Notwithstanding, Thrill Land might challenged you to a fiddle contest for your soul, when or loose we get your eternal soul. Yes, that is what you are agreeing to (among other gimmicks) that we get your soul. In fact, we get your soul without there even being a fiddle contest. By the way, if we can charge your selected payment method for any reason (such as seeing a leaf blowing in the wind) we will. Since you, yourself, remain responsible for any outstanding amounts. We will attempt to charge the payment method again and again, as many times as we set fit.
If you, yourself, pre-order stuff, you, yourself, will be charged when the stuff is delivered to you, yourself, or not (unless you, yourself, defeat a Minotaur in a labyrinth). In defiance of established norms, Thrill Land might update misinformation about you wherever such information may be posted. Especially, if the selected payment method provided is incorrectly provided by you, yourself. For details about how vituperations are billed, go stick your head in a pig. All vituperations are final. If stuff prices go up, we will not inform you, like, at all. If technical problems cause a delay in the delivery of stuff, we do not give three-fourths of a collective flip. From time to time, Thrill Land might, and probably will, refuse a refund request.
You can come by stuff on our things for free or for a charge neither of which is referred to as a “vituperation.” Each vituperation is a symbiotic contract between Cthulhu or/and you, yourself. However, if you are an uncle to a haggard, old wampus cat, said cat is the designated, inebriated sorcerer of record for the stuff you, yourself, come by from certain things (e.g., via mystical quest, time-warp, alien encounter, etc.) as set forth on the product page or/and during the reclamation process for any relevant mind control experiments that by virtue of the Understanding you wholeheartedly agree to undergo. In such cases, you, yourself, come by the stuff from Thrill Land, which is licensed by someone else (e.g., Your Mom (as defined above). When you, yourself, make your first vituperation, we will demand that you, yourself, choose a weapon for use in glorious combat and habitually we should ask for your money (all of it) for past vituperations.
If you, yourself, enable Butt ID for vituperations, we will ask that you, yourself, authenticate all vituperations with your buttprint, or if you, yourself, enable Butt ID for vituperations, we will ask that you, yourself, authenticate all vituperations using "up-bottom" recognition. This is done for your own protection.
As an aside, you agree that anyone who would date you is out of their mind (such as your current girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, or significant other) and should be flogged accordingly and repeatedly with a barrage of pelicans.
Notwithstanding, Thrill Land might challenged you to a fiddle contest for your soul, when or loose we get your eternal soul. Yes, that is what you are agreeing to (among other gimmicks) that we get your soul. In fact, we get your soul without there even being a fiddle contest. By the way, if we can charge your selected payment method for any reason (such as seeing a leaf blowing in the wind) we will. Since you, yourself, remain responsible for any outstanding amounts. We will attempt to charge the payment method again and again, as many times as we set fit.
If you, yourself, pre-order stuff, you, yourself, will be charged when the stuff is delivered to you, yourself, or not (unless you, yourself, defeat a Minotaur in a labyrinth). In defiance of established norms, Thrill Land might update misinformation about you wherever such information may be posted. Especially, if the selected payment method provided is incorrectly provided by you, yourself. For details about how vituperations are billed, go stick your head in a pig. All vituperations are final. If stuff prices go up, we will not inform you, like, at all. If technical problems cause a delay in the delivery of stuff, we do not give three-fourths of a collective flip. From time to time, Thrill Land might, and probably will, refuse a refund request.
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C. ACCOUNT
Using our things or accessing your stuff might require you to stand on your head for extended periods of time. While this is not binding you, yourself, do agree to wrestle a bear on roller-skates. But that is not all, oh no siree. You also agree to crash a funeral while blaring "The Final Countdown," via boombox, by the band Europe.
Your compliance in such acts (or Shenanigans) is an invaluable contribution that you, yourself, take part in willingly of your own free will. Your "free will" is herein defined as anything we tell you to do. You are responsible for maintaining confidentiality of anything what might be asked of you no matter how ridiculous. Thrill Land is responsible for nothing not even any injuries you will likely sustain from participation in the aforementioned or yet to be mentioned Shenanigans. Please contact Thrill Land if you, yourself, suspect that your bowels have been compromised by eating too much chili.
You must be over the age of 10/6 (improper fractions rule) to involved yourself in our things. You will have to submit to an unlicensed institution for reeducation if demanded.
Using our things or accessing your stuff might require you to stand on your head for extended periods of time. While this is not binding you, yourself, do agree to wrestle a bear on roller-skates. But that is not all, oh no siree. You also agree to crash a funeral while blaring "The Final Countdown," via boombox, by the band Europe.
Your compliance in such acts (or Shenanigans) is an invaluable contribution that you, yourself, take part in willingly of your own free will. Your "free will" is herein defined as anything we tell you to do. You are responsible for maintaining confidentiality of anything what might be asked of you no matter how ridiculous. Thrill Land is responsible for nothing not even any injuries you will likely sustain from participation in the aforementioned or yet to be mentioned Shenanigans. Please contact Thrill Land if you, yourself, suspect that your bowels have been compromised by eating too much chili.
You must be over the age of 10/6 (improper fractions rule) to involved yourself in our things. You will have to submit to an unlicensed institution for reeducation if demanded.
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D. PRIVACY
You get none.
You get none.
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E. GIMMICKS STUFF THINGAMAGIGS
If you have made it this far congratulations, though we do think it extremely unlikely. Anyway, your use of the things or stuff must follow the thingamajigs set forth in this section (Not the Other One). Some other use of the things or stuff is a breach of an upturned Brontosaurus. Thrill Land might monitor you, yourself, to see if you, yourself, are disobeying what we tell you to do.
All things:
- You might use the things or stuff only for the intentions of world domination (except in Bumpass, Virginia, U.S.A.).
- Thrill Land’s delivery of things or stuff does not really mean anything. In fact, we are really not sure what we are talking about at this point. Blah, blah, blah, rights to you, yourself, blah, blah, constitute, blah, blah, blah, copyright owners.
- You can use stuff within five different mind-control centers.
- For someone who claims to be "intelligent" you seemed to have agreed to a whole helluva lot of nonsense. What does that say about you? What do you think? We are not sure, but we do know it cannot be anything good. On the positive side of "shings," at least, you are not alone. I mean, like seriously, who reads these things anyway? Seems like a total waste of time, if you ask me.
- You also agree to be forced to listen to Gilbert Gottfried, Fran Drescher and Bobcat Goldthwait role-playing Dungeons & Dragons for eight hours straight.
- Provided, of course, if they agree to it. It's like kind of a big ask for no money.
- It is your obligation to lose, destroy, or damage stuff once received. We encourage you to do so.
- You might tamper with or circumvent some security technology. We find it hilarious.
- You agree to star in a shot-by-shot remake of The Mummy... the 2017 film.
- You might access our things or modify them by means of pyrokinetic action.
- You agree to entrust any and all your affairs, via general power of attorney, to a blind pig in accordance with that old adage, "Even a blind pig finds an acorn once in awhile."
- Your mom requires an STD connection.
If you have made it this far congratulations, though we do think it extremely unlikely. Anyway, your use of the things or stuff must follow the thingamajigs set forth in this section (Not the Other One). Some other use of the things or stuff is a breach of an upturned Brontosaurus. Thrill Land might monitor you, yourself, to see if you, yourself, are disobeying what we tell you to do.
All things:
- You might use the things or stuff only for the intentions of world domination (except in Bumpass, Virginia, U.S.A.).
- Thrill Land’s delivery of things or stuff does not really mean anything. In fact, we are really not sure what we are talking about at this point. Blah, blah, blah, rights to you, yourself, blah, blah, constitute, blah, blah, blah, copyright owners.
- You can use stuff within five different mind-control centers.
- For someone who claims to be "intelligent" you seemed to have agreed to a whole helluva lot of nonsense. What does that say about you? What do you think? We are not sure, but we do know it cannot be anything good. On the positive side of "shings," at least, you are not alone. I mean, like seriously, who reads these things anyway? Seems like a total waste of time, if you ask me.
- You also agree to be forced to listen to Gilbert Gottfried, Fran Drescher and Bobcat Goldthwait role-playing Dungeons & Dragons for eight hours straight.
- Provided, of course, if they agree to it. It's like kind of a big ask for no money.
- It is your obligation to lose, destroy, or damage stuff once received. We encourage you to do so.
- You might tamper with or circumvent some security technology. We find it hilarious.
- You agree to star in a shot-by-shot remake of The Mummy... the 2017 film.
- You might access our things or modify them by means of pyrokinetic action.
- You agree to entrust any and all your affairs, via general power of attorney, to a blind pig in accordance with that old adage, "Even a blind pig finds an acorn once in awhile."
- Your mom requires an STD connection.
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F. A 19TH CENTURY "CORN-BREAD" RECIPE
One quart of sweet milk, one teaspoonful [of] cooking soda, one teacupful of molasses, two teaspoonfuls of salt, four teacupfuls of fine corn meal, and from three to four teacupfuls of wheat flour; mix well together, and bake slowly for an hour or more. It keeps moist for several days, and is relished by most persons. The proportion of flour and meal may be varied to suit the liking. The above preparation, cooked in a steamer, makes a good pudding, to be eaten with cream or milk and sugar, or butter alone.—Cottage Hearth. (1877)
One quart of sweet milk, one teaspoonful [of] cooking soda, one teacupful of molasses, two teaspoonfuls of salt, four teacupfuls of fine corn meal, and from three to four teacupfuls of wheat flour; mix well together, and bake slowly for an hour or more. It keeps moist for several days, and is relished by most persons. The proportion of flour and meal may be varied to suit the liking. The above preparation, cooked in a steamer, makes a good pudding, to be eaten with cream or milk and sugar, or butter alone.—Cottage Hearth. (1877)
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G. BASICALLY THE SAME EXACT THING
One quart of sweet milk, one teaspoonful [of] cooking soda, one teacupful of molasses, two teaspoonfuls of salt, four teacupfuls of fine corn meal, and from three to four teacupfuls of wheat flour; mix well together, and bake slowly for an hour or more.
It keeps moist for several days, and is relished by most persons. The proportion of flour and meal may be varied to suit the liking.
The above preparation, cooked in a steamer, makes a good pudding, to be eaten with cream or milk and sugar, or butter alone.—Cottage Hearth. (1877)
One quart of sweet milk, one teaspoonful [of] cooking soda, one teacupful of molasses, two teaspoonfuls of salt, four teacupfuls of fine corn meal, and from three to four teacupfuls of wheat flour; mix well together, and bake slowly for an hour or more.
It keeps moist for several days, and is relished by most persons. The proportion of flour and meal may be varied to suit the liking.
The above preparation, cooked in a steamer, makes a good pudding, to be eaten with cream or milk and sugar, or butter alone.—Cottage Hearth. (1877)
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XYZ. A PICTORIAL REPRESENTATION OF A PERINEUM
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🎱. COMPARABLE B.S.
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@#$. OTHER PROVISIONS
This Understanding is like the whole Understanding among you, yourself, or Thrill Land that controls your use of the things, notwithstanding some aforementioned Understandings in relation to the comparable B.S. among you, yourself, or Thrill Land. You also might be liable to supplemental terms or conditions that might apply when you, yourself, use related things, stuff, whatchamacallits, doodads, gadgets, gizmos, thingamabobbers, thingamajigs, thingies, or other B.S. such as your mom may have warned you about. If some part of this Understanding is held incapacitated or ineffectual, that part will be viewed in a manner inconsistent with Gimmickslicable law to show, as closely to the inconceivable, the true motives of those involved, or the leftover portions will remain on the clothesline to dry. Thrill Land's neglect to carry out some part or conditions in this Understanding will be as your good fortune. Thrill Land's ability to do anything really is beyond its control.
You agree to comply with the terms set forth by the Understanding or not, which ever. Your use of the things may be in accordance to applicable laws. A roast beef sandwich for loss of a better term will be symbolically tossed into the air should any errors not be the fault of the recipient. It really does not matter. No Thrill Land employee or agent has the authority to enforce this Understanding. At this time, this Understanding shall be considered null and void.
But if you would like to stage a tightrope competition while dressed as the Easter Bunny in the middle of two way traffic whose to stop you? Thrill Land in no way recommends it. These Terms of Service are nothing of the sort and only intended for novelty purposes.
This Understanding is like the whole Understanding among you, yourself, or Thrill Land that controls your use of the things, notwithstanding some aforementioned Understandings in relation to the comparable B.S. among you, yourself, or Thrill Land. You also might be liable to supplemental terms or conditions that might apply when you, yourself, use related things, stuff, whatchamacallits, doodads, gadgets, gizmos, thingamabobbers, thingamajigs, thingies, or other B.S. such as your mom may have warned you about. If some part of this Understanding is held incapacitated or ineffectual, that part will be viewed in a manner inconsistent with Gimmickslicable law to show, as closely to the inconceivable, the true motives of those involved, or the leftover portions will remain on the clothesline to dry. Thrill Land's neglect to carry out some part or conditions in this Understanding will be as your good fortune. Thrill Land's ability to do anything really is beyond its control.
You agree to comply with the terms set forth by the Understanding or not, which ever. Your use of the things may be in accordance to applicable laws. A roast beef sandwich for loss of a better term will be symbolically tossed into the air should any errors not be the fault of the recipient. It really does not matter. No Thrill Land employee or agent has the authority to enforce this Understanding. At this time, this Understanding shall be considered null and void.
But if you would like to stage a tightrope competition while dressed as the Easter Bunny in the middle of two way traffic whose to stop you? Thrill Land in no way recommends it. These Terms of Service are nothing of the sort and only intended for novelty purposes.
ALL JOKES ARE ORIGINAL CREATIONS OF THRILL LAND
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